Let’s get real for a moment. You know the feeling. You are in a conversation, maybe even an argument, with someone who just refuses to hear you. It is not that they do not understand. It is that they do not want to. Their mind is made up, their heart is closed, and no matter how much truth you show them, no matter how many times you explain, it bounces off. They dig in deeper. Before long, you are in a battle that seems endless. You are trying to reason, but it is like talking to a wall.
Proverbs 26:4 tells us, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” At first, this seems simple: avoid arguing with fools. But if we look deeper, it is far more than advice. It is a warning not to let ourselves be dragged down to their level.
The Hebrew word for fool here is kesil (כְּסִיל). A kesil is not someone who made a single mistake or a poor decision in a moment of weakness. A kesil is someone who has made foolishness a way of life. This person is entrenched in stubbornness. They actively reject wisdom and refuse to see the truth. They are willfully blind to what is right. Trying to reason with them is like trying to reason with someone living in denial. They have chosen folly as their default setting.
When we engage with someone in that place, it is easy to get frustrated and pulled into their mess. You know the feeling. You argue, you try to make a point, and soon you are going in circles. You start saying things you do not mean. You act in ways you would not normally act. You are no longer trying to bring clarity. You are caught in the drama, and it is exhausting. Proverbs is warning us: do not let their refusal to hear the truth drag you into acting foolishly too.
The word for folly in Proverbs 26:4 is ’evah (אֶוָה). It means something twisted or perverse. It is not a fleeting mistake. It is a mindset, a way of thinking warped and out of alignment with wisdom. When the proverb says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly,” it is warning us not to engage with twisted thinking. If we do, we lower ourselves to their level.
Solomon speaks about fools often in Proverbs. In 1:7, he says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools (kesil) despise wisdom and instruction.” A kesil does not simply fail to know better. They actively reject what they know is wise. This is willful rebellion. Engaging with them drains us, while they continue in their foolishness, unaffected. They are not looking for conversation. They are looking for conflict.
When we try to reason with such people, we feed into their folly. They want us to argue. They want us to be caught up in nonsense. When we do, we act just like them. That is why Proverbs tells us not to answer a fool according to his folly. It is not about avoiding conflict. It is about protecting your peace and recognizing when engagement is pointless.
Jesus teaches the same principle in Matthew 7:6: “Do not give dogs what is sacred. Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.” Pearls represent wisdom, truth, and the things that matter most. Do not waste them on those who will not value them. Some people are simply not going to hear you. That does not mean we never speak up. It means we discern when speaking is useful and when it is just feeding their folly. Silence is not weakness. It is wisdom.
Proverbs 17:28 gives insight into this: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” Silence is not just saying nothing. It is knowing when not to speak. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is not get involved in the drama. You do not have to prove anything. You do not have to win an argument. You trust that God will handle the situation in His time and in His way.
But when should we speak? Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you. Rebuke the wise and they will love you.” The mocker, lutz (לוּץ), sneers at wisdom and mocks correction. Engaging with them is pointless. The wise person may resist correction at first but will ultimately appreciate truth. We are called to discern whom to correct and when to remain silent.
We follow Jesus’ example. 1 Peter 2:23 says, “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate. When he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to Him who judges justly.” Jesus did not feel compelled to defend Himself in every situation. He trusted the Father to act in His time. We are called to do the same.
There is a deep freedom in recognizing that not every fool needs a response. We can stop worrying about proving ourselves right. We can focus instead on what truly matters—faithfulness to God’s call, living in wisdom, and trusting that He will take care of the rest.
It is not easy. When someone is unreasonable, when you feel compelled to set them straight, it is hard to pause. Yet when you listen to the Holy Spirit, you see that not every argument is worth winning. Silence is sometimes the strongest response. By stepping back from foolish conversations, we free ourselves from unnecessary drama. We preserve clarity, peace, and focus on God’s purposes.
We also learn the difference between correction that bears fruit and engagement that feeds folly. Speaking truth is not wrong, but it must be measured. Proverbs 9:8 reminds us that the wise appreciate correction. They do not react in anger or pride but grow in understanding. Fools reject correction. They will continue in their ways, regardless of what you say. Our responsibility is not to change them but to discern how to respond faithfully.
When you feel tension rising, pause. Pray. Seek wisdom. Ask God to guide your words and your silence. Protect your spirit. Proverbs 26:4 is a guardrail for your heart, teaching that some battles are not yours to fight. By holding your peace, you allow God to work where words fail.
Living in this wisdom transforms daily life. At work, in social media discussions, within family debates, even in church conversations, the principle applies. Not every opinion requires your correction. Not every provocation needs a response. Not every dispute is worth your energy. By rising above, you demonstrate God’s wisdom and allow His truth to work in its own time and way.
Consider how often this principle can change interactions. You may avoid escalating arguments that would otherwise damage relationships. You maintain emotional and spiritual balance. You reflect Christ not by winning disputes but by holding truth in humility and restraint.
Seeing Proverbs in Action
Think about social media for a moment. Every scroll brings arguments you never asked for. Someone posts something misleading, inflammatory, or plainly false. Instantly, reactions start… comments, tags, debates. The impulse is strong: “I need to correct this. I need to show them the truth.” But the principle of Proverbs 26:4 kicks in. If the person is a kesil(כְּסִיל)—someone entrenched in their own distorted thinking, the more you argue, the more you get pulled into their folly. Your words, though true, may never land. Instead, tension rises, your heart grows anxious, and the discussion spirals.
At work, it might be the colleague who always resists guidance. They have a habit of dismissing wisdom or constructive feedback. You know what is right and necessary, but every correction is met with defensiveness or mockery. Engaging them repeatedly only drains your energy and stirs frustration. Recognizing the difference between a lutz (לוּץ) mocker and someone teachable can protect your peace. Silence or measured speech preserves clarity and authority without compromise.
Even in family conversations, this principle applies. Perhaps a loved one insists on a false narrative, political or personal. You feel compelled to speak. But sometimes, stepping back, praying, and choosing not to escalate reflects Christ more than winning an argument ever could. Your calm witness, patience, and restraint often speak louder than words.
These situations show us that rising above foolishness is not avoidance. It is discernment. It is trusting God to work while you remain faithful and grounded. It is refusing to be drawn into drama that feeds folly. In every generation, in every arena, wisdom calls for measured engagement and sometimes, the power of silence.
Rising above foolishness is a daily choice. It is not passive. It is deliberate. It is a conscious act of faith, trusting God to uphold His justice while you preserve your peace. In a world that prizes noise over wisdom, restraint over reaction is a powerful testimony of God’s presence in your life.
Take a moment to reflect. Where in your own life have you been drawn into fruitless arguments? Where might silence or measured speech be the most faithful path? This is not avoidance. This is discernment. This is walking in the way of the Lord.
When we stop engaging in every foolish conversation, we free ourselves. We remain focused on what is truly important. We live in wisdom, peace, and obedience. God handles the rest.
Prayer
Father God, we thank You for the wisdom You give freely to those who seek You. Please, teach us to recognize when a heart is hardened and when our words are meant to guide, not to argue. Help us discern between those who are teachable and those who are entrenched in folly. Guard our hearts from frustration and anger. Give us patience, humility, and the courage to remain silent when silence reflects Your truth more clearly than words ever could.
May our lives honor You by walking in wisdom, holding peace in our hearts, and trusting You to handle the outcomes. Strengthen us to rise above foolishness, to speak only when it bears fruit, and to leave the rest in Your hands. In Yeshua’s Name, Amen and Amen.
✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️
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