And Exactly What Are They Teaching Them?
There is something that slips into homes without making a sound. It does not announce itself. It does not look dangerous at first. It simply settles in through everyday living until it becomes a pattern nobody questions. It is the habit of assuming. Parents begin to assume their children are being taught what they need to know simply because life is moving forward. The child is getting older, going to school, attending activities, sitting under some form of instruction, and so it feels like everything important must be covered somewhere along the way.
But assumption is not teaching. Assumption is not training. Assumption is not formation. It is simply the idea that something is happening without making sure it actually is.
There is an old saying people repeat, usually with a bit of humor, but it carries a warning that is far more serious than the way it sounds. Never assume, because when you assume, you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” It is a crude way of pointing out something real. When people assume instead of checking, instead of teaching, instead of confirming, the result does not stay isolated. It spreads. It affects relationships, understanding, direction, and in the case of children, it affects the entire shaping of a life.
And this is where the question becomes deeper than it first appears. It is not only who is teaching your children, but exactly what are they teaching them? Because every voice a child hears is shaping something inside them. Every influence carries a direction. Every message carries values, even when it is wrapped in entertainment, humor, or everyday conversation. Children are not only learning information, they are learning identity, purpose, morality, and truth about life.
God never designed children to be formed by assumption. He designed them to be formed by instruction.
That responsibility was placed directly into the hands of parents.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children…”
That word “diligently” comes from the Hebrew שׁנן (shanan). It carries the idea of sharpening something again and again until it becomes effective. A knife does not become sharp through one touch. It becomes sharp through repetition, pressure, correction, and time. In the same way, God’s Word was never meant to be spoken once and left alone. It was meant to be repeated until it becomes part of how a child thinks and sees life.
And God even explains where this teaching is supposed to happen. When sitting in the house. When walking by the way. When lying down. When rising up. That means it is not limited to a formal setting or a single moment. It is part of life itself. God was never meant to be separated from daily living.
Yet in many homes today, that is exactly what has happened without anyone planning it. It is not usually a deliberate choice, and it is not something most parents sit down and decide. It happens slowly through the pressure of life itself. Schedules become heavy, responsibilities increase, work demands more time, and daily survival takes priority over intentional teaching. In the middle of all that movement, children still grow up, still absorb everything around them, and still form their understanding of life, their way. But what fills the space is not always what parents intended or wanted. Over time, the home becomes filled with conversation about appointments, responsibilities, school demands, finances, entertainment, and routines, while deeper instruction about God, truth, and wisdom becomes less frequent without anyone consciously deciding to remove it. It gets pushed to the back burner.
Children hear more about schedules than Scripture. That means their awareness of life becomes shaped more by timing, activity, and obligation than by eternal truth or spiritual understanding. A child can easily grow up knowing when to be somewhere, what needs to be done next, what the routine is, and how the structure of the day works, but still not understand why they are here, who God is, or how His Word applies to daily living. When Scripture is not spoken regularly in a home, it does not disappear because it is unimportant, it disappears because it is unspoken. And over time, what is spoken most often becomes what is believed most deeply.
More about school than spiritual truth means that education becomes the primary lens through which life is viewed, while spiritual understanding slowly becomes secondary or even optional. School becomes the place where answers are expected and structure is given, while spiritual matters are treated as something separate, occasional, or private. A child can grow up learning facts, skills, and academic content while never learning how to interpret life through God’s perspective. Without realizing it, the heart begins to divide life into compartments, one for learning and one for faith, instead of seeing everything as belonging to God. That separation slowly shapes how truth is understood.
More about entertainment than eternity means that what captures attention most strongly is often what has the greatest emotional impact, but not necessarily the greatest truth. Entertainment is designed to engage the mind quickly, hold attention, and create emotional response. Over time, it can become the primary teacher simply because of repetition and exposure. When that happens, eternal matters begin to feel distant or less urgent, not because they are less real, but because they are less frequently spoken. A child can grow up deeply familiar with stories, characters, trends, and cultural voices, while remaining unfamiliar with Scripture, prayer, or the reality of eternity. What is repeatedly seen and heard becomes what feels most real, even when it is not.
And slowly, without anyone noticing the shift in real time, other voices begin doing the teaching. This is one of the most subtle dangers in a home, because it does not feel like a sudden change. There is no moment where a parent wakes up and says teaching has been handed over. It happens gradually through absence rather than action. If instruction is not intentionally present, something else naturally fills the space. Voices from outside the home do not need permission to influence a child. They only need access and repetition. Over time, those outside voices begin to shape opinions, values, expectations, and identity more than the home does, not because they are stronger in truth, but because they are louder, more frequent, and more emotionally engaging.
Because children are always being taught. This is a foundational reality that many underestimate. A child does not need formal instruction to learn. They learn from observation, from repetition, from tone, from atmosphere, from reactions, and from what is consistently present around them. Their minds are not neutral space waiting for structured lessons. Their minds are active, constantly absorbing, constantly forming patterns of understanding based on what they experience daily.
Even when nobody is trying to teach them. Instruction does not require intention in order to take effect. A child watching how conflict is handled in a home is learning something about relationships. A child listening to how people are spoken to is learning something about respect. A child observing stress, joy, anger, patience, or inconsistency is learning how life works. Even if no one sits down to formally explain anything, learning is still happening simply through living in that environment.
Even silence teaches something. What is not said still communicates meaning. Silence can teach that certain topics are not important, or not welcome, or not safe to discuss. It can also create confusion when a child senses something important but never hears it explained. Silence leaves gaps, and children naturally fill those gaps with their own conclusions or with outside voices. What is not addressed does not remain unknown, it becomes interpreted.
Even neglect teaches something. When instruction is absent, children do not interpret it as neutrality. They interpret it as meaning that something is unimportant or not worth attention. Neglect does not leave a child unaffected. It shapes expectation. It can teach independence without guidance, or confusion without clarity, or reliance on outside influence rather than parental direction. Neglect always forms something, even if it is not what was intended.
Even reactions in a household teach something. How adults respond to stress, frustration, disappointment, or success becomes a living lesson for children. A reaction teaches more quickly than a lecture because it is witnessed in real time. Children learn whether problems are handled with patience or panic, whether mistakes lead to correction or anger, whether communication is safe or tense. These patterns become internalized far more deeply than spoken instruction.
The question is never whether teaching is happening. That question is already answered by the nature of life itself. Teaching is always happening in some form, because learning is always occurring. The real question is who is doing the teaching, and exactly what that teaching is forming inside the child. Every influence is shaping direction, identity, and understanding, whether it is recognized or not.
This is where assumption becomes dangerous. Parents assume that because a child is present in a home, they are being formed correctly. But presence is not instruction. Exposure is not guidance. Time is not training. A child can be physically close to parents every day and still not receive intentional teaching about God, wisdom, or life. Without deliberate instruction, presence alone does not guarantee formation. It only guarantees proximity.
And this becomes very clear when you look at anything in life that requires real skill, because nothing meaningful in life is formed by assumption.
Nobody becomes a concert pianist by assuming they can play. When you hear a pianist performing something beautiful, you are not hearing a single moment. You are hearing years of unseen work. Hours of practice that few people saw. Repetition of scales. Slow correction. Failure. Frustration. Then gradual improvement. Then discipline over and over again until what once felt impossible becomes natural. A pianist does not sit down and hope something happens. They are taught. They are corrected. They repeat the same patterns so many times that their hands begin to remember what their mind once struggled with.
A violinist is the same. One small mistake in pressure or position changes everything. So they learn slowly, carefully, repeatedly, building control before performance is ever expected.
An Artist does not assume they can paint a masterpiece. They study light, shadow, proportion, and color. They fail repeatedly before anything becomes worth showing. I heard it said on a TV show “fail until you’re good at it”. not good at failing, but good at what you were attempting to accomplish.
A carpenter does not assume a structure will stand. They measure twice, cut once, correct, and rebuild when something is off. One wrong decision can affect the whole structure.
A baker does not assume bread will rise. They learn timing, heat, ingredients, and process. They repeat until consistency is learned.
A driver does not assume control of a vehicle. They learn rules, awareness, and responsibility through instruction and practice before being trusted alone.
A physicist does not assume understanding of the universe. They build knowledge step by step, one principle resting on another. A mathematician does not assume complex equations. They begin with foundations and repeat basics until higher understanding becomes possible. Even language itself is not assumed. It is learned through repetition, correction, and exposure over time.
And this is where the question becomes unavoidable.
If no one assumes mastery in music, science, construction, or language, why would anyone assume wisdom, discernment, or spiritual understanding will simply form in a child without intentional teaching?
Everything strong in life is built.
Nothing meaningful is formed by assumption.
Yet when it comes to children (a person under the age of 18 or the age considered to be old enough to be held accountable), assumption is often used where training should be.
Parents assume character will develop on its own. They assume wisdom will come with age. They assume children will figure out truth eventually. They assume school will cover what home does not. They assume church will fill the gaps. They assume life will do the teaching for them.
But life does not teach gently. Life teaches through consequences. And consequences do not wait until someone is ready.
This is why Scripture places so much weight on intentional instruction.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Training means shaping direction early. It means forming habits before they become permanent patterns. It means repetition, correction, example, and consistency over time.
But training is not only about behavior. It begins with identity.
A child needs to know who they are before God. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image…”
That one truth changes everything. A child is not an accident. Not a mistake. Not a random outcome of nature. They are created with intention. That means their life has meaning even before they understand it themselves.
The Hebrew word בינה (binah), meaning understanding or discernment, refers to the ability to separate truth from error, wisdom from foolishness, right from wrong. Without it, a child can hear many voices and not know which ones are safe to follow.
Proverbs 14:15 says, “The simple believe every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.”
Discernment does not appear automatically. It is formed through teaching and repetition.
Children also need to know God’s love, not just His commands.
The Hebrew word חסד (chesed) describes steadfast, covenant love. It is not temporary emotion. It is faithful commitment. It does not change when circumstances change. When children see even a reflection of that kind of love in a home, it becomes a picture in their mind of something stable in a world that is often unstable.
1 John 4:19 says, “We love him, because he first loved us.”
Love is not only spoken. It is lived. Children notice consistency. They notice tone. They notice reactions. They notice what is repeated in a home more than what is said once in a while.
Correction is part of that love too.
Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes.”
Correction is not anger expressed. It is direction given. It is protection from future harm. It is shaping a child before life forces harder lessons.
And then there are the practical things of life.
Cooking, cleaning, responsibility, work, time management, money, problem solving. These are not separate from life with God. They are part of living responsibly in the world God created. A child who learns how to cook is learning more than food. They are learning patience, order, timing, and care for others. They are learning that effort produces results and that attention matters.
Even education itself points back to God when it is understood correctly.
Psalm 19:1 says, “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shews his handywork.”
Colossians 1:17 says, “And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.”
Mathematics reflects order. Physics reflects consistency. Science reflects design. None of it stands apart from the One who created it.
But perhaps the most overlooked teaching is how to think.
Not just what to think, but how to evaluate what is heard. How to compare ideas with Scripture. How to recognize when something sounds right but is not right. In effect, discernment. How to slow down before accepting something simply because it is popular or repeated often.
Because in a world filled with constant information, discernment becomes survival. And none of this can be left to assumption. Because assumption does not build anything. It only delays the moment when reality shows what was never taught. And by then, the cost is often far greater than the effort it would have taken to simply teach it in the first place.
The world is already teaching. It does not assume. It repeats. It reinforces. It shapes.
The question is not whether children are being formed. The question is who is forming them, and exactly what spirit, what truth, and what direction they are being formed into… before assumption quietly takes the place of intentional teaching.
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PRAYER
Holy Father, You are the One who made the heavens and the earth. Your wisdom holds everything together, and nothing in creation stands apart from Your hand. I worship You for Your faithfulness, Your truth, and Your steady love that does not shift with time or circumstance. You are the One who teaches, who guides, and who gives understanding when everything else feels unclear.
I come before You thankful for Your Word, because it gives light where there is confusion and direction where there is uncertainty. You have not left Your people without instruction, and You have not hidden Your ways from those who seek You. Your truth is alive, and it speaks into every part of life.
Holy Father, I ask for help in the homes of parents and children. Give parents wisdom to see what is being formed in their children’s lives. Remove the habit of assumption where it has replaced intentional teaching. Place in them a deep desire to teach Your Word not only in planned moments, but in everyday living, in speech, in example, and in consistency.
I ask You to protect children from voices that pull them away from truth. Guard their minds and hearts. Let discernment grow in them so they can recognize what is right and what is harmful. Let what is good become clear to them, even in a world full of noise and distraction.
Restore what has been neglected in families. Bring Your Word back into the center of the home, where it shapes conversation, thought, and direction. Let love and truth work together in every household that turns toward You.
I trust You with this, Holy Father, and I thank You for hearing me.
In Jesus Christ’s blessed name.
Amen and Amen.
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© AMKCH 2026
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