Embracing Love That Changes Everything
If there’s one thing the enemy has worked overtime to convince God’s children of, it’s this lie: that loving yourself is selfish, or prideful, or somehow unspiritual. But when I open the Word of God, I see the opposite. The Lord Himself tells us through Jesus’ own words in Matthew 22:39, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Notice that little phrase, as yourself. Jesus tied the way we love others to the way we love ourselves. Which means if we don’t know how to love ourselves in God’s way, we’ll never be able to fully obey this commandment toward others. Loving yourself isn’t pride; it’s obedience. But here’s the key: it has to be God’s way, not the world’s.
The first step is seeing who you really are in God’s eyes. From the very beginning in Genesis 1:27, Scripture says that God created mankind בְּצֶלֶם אֱלֹהִים (b’tzelem Elohim), “in the image of God.” That word צֶלֶם (tzelem) means “image” or “reflection,” like a shadow that mirrors the form of the object casting it. You are not an accident and you certainly are not random. You are the reflection of your Creator. If you struggle to love yourself, start here: you bear the image of the Almighty. Nothing you’ve done and nothing anyone else has done to you can take that away.
But it doesn’t stop with creation. In Christ, you’ve been made new. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” That’s not a nice idea, it’s a reality. You are new. You may feel the weight of the old sometimes, but in God’s eyes, you are already washed and cleansed, and renewed. The Greek word Paul uses here, καινὴ κτίσις (kainē ktisis), means a brand-new creation, not just fixed up, not recycled, but made completely new from the inside out. If you want to love yourself, begin by believing God’s declaration about who you are, even on the days you don’t feel it.
And then, there is God’s love itself. The New Testament uses the word ἀγάπη (agápē) to describe it, this is the highest, purest, most selfless love there is. In Romans 5:8, Paul writes, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Do you hear that? God didn’t wait for you to “get better.” He didn’t wait for you to be worthy. He loved you at your worst and proved it with the cross. If that’s the way God loves you, then loving yourself means receiving that truth and refusing to measure your worth by your performance.
The Hebrew Scriptures give us another word for love: אַהֲבָה (ahavah). It’s more than affection. It’s covenant love, it’s a love that commits. God’s ahavah for you means He has pledged Himself to you — He will not let go. That kind of love isn’t meant just to be believed in your head; it’s meant to be embraced in your heart and lived out in how you treat yourself.
One of the ways we often fail to love ourselves is by carrying guilt and shame longer than God ever intended. But the psalmist reminds us in Psalm 103:12 that “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” The Hebrew word for forgiveness, סְלִיחָה (selichah), means pardon — a lifting away. When God forgives you, He doesn’t hold a record against you anymore. So why do you still hold it against yourself? Loving yourself God’s way means laying down that burden and choosing to forgive yourself as He has already forgiven you. Anything less is refusing to believe what He has already declared.
Now, let’s talk about your body. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:19 that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. That means you are sacred space. Loving yourself is not only about your heart and mind; it’s also about how you care for the vessel God gave you. Rest is not laziness; it’s obedience. Setting boundaries is not selfishness; it’s wisdom. Nourishing yourself, protecting your health, giving yourself margin to breathe.These are all ways you honor God in loving yourself. Even Jesus withdrew to pray, to rest, and to be with the Father (Mark 1:35). If the Son of God modeled that, shouldn’t we?
But perhaps the hardest part of loving yourself is the battle of the mind. The enemy loves to speak lies, and sometimes we don’t even realize we’ve agreed with them. Paul urges us in Romans 12:2 to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. That renewal comes when we stop repeating the enemy’s accusations and start speaking God’s truth.“The Hebrew word דָּבָר (davar) means ‘thing’ or ‘matter,’ reminding us that everything we say matters. “So, speak life over yourself: “I am beloved. I am forgiven. I am chosen. I am new.” Say it until your soul begins to believe it.
And here’s where it all comes together: when you love yourself as God loves you, that love overflows. You can’t pour from an empty cup. But when your cup is full of God’s ἀγάπη (agápē) for you, you’ll find yourself naturally patient, kind, and gracious with others. That’s exactly what Jesus meant in John 13:34, when He said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” His love is the pattern. And His love starts by filling you up, so you can pour it out.
So, how do you begin this sacred journey of loving yourself God’s way? Start with a simple prayer: “Lord, help me see myself the way You see me.” Open Psalm 139 and let its words wash over you, reminding you that God knit you together in your mother’s womb, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Take time to journal your struggles, and when guilt rises, remind yourself of סְלִיחָה (selichah), God’s forgiveness. Rest when your body needs it, for you are a temple of the Spirit. And daily, speak God’s promises over yourself until His truth drowns out every lie.
Loving yourself the way God loves you is not a one‑time decision. It’s a daily practice. But it’s also one of the holiest acts of obedience you can give Him. Because when you live loved, you love others well. And the world is in desperate need of that kind of love.
And That is…
images by chatgpt at my direction